Bed Bugs. Or Not.

Never in my life did I think I would utter the words "I pray to God it's cockroaches."

My landlord of 3 months has another apartment, just finished, down the stairs, a short walkway and door away.  It is furnished.  They brought in all the furniture, couches chairs loveseats mattresses etc, in the last 2 days.  I went downstairs today and heard him say he was calling the exterminator to find out what bed bugs look like because maybe they could be cockroaches.  Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

The only saving grace, after searching online, is that diatomaceous earth sprinkled in your doorways, and along the baseboards, and on mattresses, yada yada yada (forgive me I am watching Seinfeld) will stop these creepy crawly...things from making their way into my home.

I have a 9 ounce jar that I bought for SEVENTEEN DOLLARS to treat my animals for fleas and worms (mixed in canned food) that I have just spent the last hour sprinkling around doorways and baseboards and stairs and entryways and every place else I could think of.  And I still feel itchy like I have fleas because I KNOW.

Tonight I will be sleeping in a ball on top of my counter.