No, I Haven't Bailed.

One of the reasons I was unsure about starting a blog, is that I have a hard time when I feel pressured.  In a work situation I thrive on the stress, but not in my personal life.  Not that doing something like this for myself should make me feel pressured, but I have been feeling...guilt? no...something...because I haven't posted in awhile.  I know you are all waiting anxiously for the bullshit that comes out of my mouth.  Haha.


As I said before I do have a very personal post I am working on, and it's actually harder than I thought it would be, and I expected it to be a sonofabitch.


Until then, I will be posting whatever whenever.  I have alot of pictures of some of the recipes I have been making to go along with the recipes themselves, and pictures of the kids and what they have been up to, and fun stuff, like things that piss me off.  I have alot of those.  A. Lot.


Until next time so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good bye.
I leave and heave a sigh and say I need a beer.

Bed Bugs. Or Not.

Never in my life did I think I would utter the words "I pray to God it's cockroaches."

My landlord of 3 months has another apartment, just finished, down the stairs, a short walkway and door away.  It is furnished.  They brought in all the furniture, couches chairs loveseats mattresses etc, in the last 2 days.  I went downstairs today and heard him say he was calling the exterminator to find out what bed bugs look like because maybe they could be cockroaches.  Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

The only saving grace, after searching online, is that diatomaceous earth sprinkled in your doorways, and along the baseboards, and on mattresses, yada yada yada (forgive me I am watching Seinfeld) will stop these creepy crawly...things from making their way into my home.

I have a 9 ounce jar that I bought for SEVENTEEN DOLLARS to treat my animals for fleas and worms (mixed in canned food) that I have just spent the last hour sprinkling around doorways and baseboards and stairs and entryways and every place else I could think of.  And I still feel itchy like I have fleas because I KNOW.

Tonight I will be sleeping in a ball on top of my counter.

Hate

Hate is a really strong word you aren't supposed to use. But what happens when you really, truly, deeply feel that way? Because it is a strong and, some think, taboo word you are not allowed to express it?

I disagree. It is a word that should never be used lightly. Ever. But no one should be told they are not allowed a feeling because it isn't a nice word to say, or a nice way to feel. You cannot control the way you feel. You can sugar coat it. You can pretend. You can lie your ass off. But if you hate someone in your life more than you like that person in your life, own it. I don't think you absolutely have to express it to that person, or to anyone else about that person, but I also don't think polite society or religious constraints or someone else's idea of values should force anyone to lie to him or her self about the way they feel. That's bullshit and destructive.

I have had a really bad few months. Well, let's be honest. Years. I have come to the decision to stop trying to please every other person that is remotely connected to my life and think a little more about myself and how I feel. Of course every time I am honest and stop taking shit, I get reamed, or yelled at or treated like ass for it. Oh well. If I can't be true to myself and my feelings then I might as well be mute, deaf and blind. Some probably would rather it that way, in fact I am sure certain people would. I don't live my life for them anymore. It's my time to be honest with myself and those around me. I deserve that.

About

I am working on a big ass post about turning forty and why I started this blog. It's a tough one to write and I make no promises as to when it will finally be posted. Hopefully in the next couple of days.

And while we are on the subject, not really but go with it, let's talk posting schedule. There isn't one. I plan to write what I want when the mood strikes me, hopefully that will be at least every other day, we'll see. If I try to post everyday I will get stressed and not want to do it at all, which will lead to guilt for bailing. Fuck that.

This weekend I do plan to post pics of Paige's semi-formal getup, some recipes I have made over the last few days, yum, and who knows what else.

Oh, another "in case you didn't notice" I don't give a shit about grammar, syntax or run-on sentences. Spelling is another story.

I may end up putting an adult warning on this site, which only amounts to another page to click through, but will cover my ass a little on kids viewing it.

Busy day today; kid stuff, work stuff, rest of stuff into storage. Exciting.

Um...

This is freaking me the fuck out.

http://dlisted.com/node/41413

MARCH

In like a lion; out like a lion.

W T F

The beauty of a blog (or so I've been told) is that you can write anything you want without worrying about offending or irritating anyone. Yeah right, have you met me? We'll see how that goes. The X is at the top right.

Fair Warning: You will be subjected to pictures of my kids; two-legged, four-legged and finned. Rants, recipes and ramblings, oh my. And, in case you missed it, I do swear alot. I try to do it mostly in my head, but since I am writing what is in my head, lucky you. Take that whichever way you choose.

Comments are on, don't be a dick. Or do. Whatever.